![\"\"\/](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/static1.squarespace.com\/static\/5181e760e4b04f94760cb317\/51832db8e4b0046126d0409f\/5294fe26e4b05298f5d86935\/1385496113061\/Scan%2B8.jpeg?w=900\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
My Dearest,<\/p>\n
I look now, over at your table, that beautiful old oak table, with the carved legs, and I know you are being so tolerant, your space covered with scraps, crumbs, and frustrated piles of broken frames and dusty matt boards. I know you understand. You always come last. I don’t know why you put up with it.<\/p>\n
![\"\"\/](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/static1.squarespace.com\/static\/5181e760e4b04f94760cb317\/51832db8e4b0046126d0409f\/5294fe70e4b041b3d0f44926\/1385496184395\/Scan%2B16.jpeg?w=900\")
<\/p>\n
Because you deserve so much more. As soon as I give you even a second of my time and attention, you give back so much more, fighting against me and my stupid excuses and short attention span. I always think, god, this is going to be awful, and true, sometimes we don’t click. But over the years, I’ve learned I can rely on you. I know that if I just shut up and give you some ink and some paper, some watercolor, you will take over. I love to witness this. When I sink in and let go, when I finally give you the time and space and stop nagging and expecting, when I can finally just be with you<\/em>, then the most amazing things happen.<\/p>\n From out of nowhere, visions appear on the paper in front of me, flowing out, out of control, and I see that you are telling me something, something about me, about my life. So I soften, I give in. I start to listen. The story unfolds and tells me something I couldn’t see. Sometimes I get greedy and I want more answers, more magic, more flash. You sigh and let me over-do it. I always see later that you were right. I don’t have to try so hard.<\/p>\n Afterwards, subtly, I feel better. Not like a toothpaste commercial, where everything is suddenly bleached and shiny and perfect. I still have my bed head, still have that endless “to do” list, still feel aggravated by my kids, guilty that I took time away from them to be with you. <\/p>\n I know you need me too. I know when I feel confused, angry or depressed that you are trying to get my attention. And I hate you in that moment. I look that table, the crusty bottles of ink and unsharpened pencils and the last thing I want to do is spend time with you. I feel obligated, I think its going to suck, and it seems pointless anyway, why bother?<\/p>\n “Just organize the supplies,” you say, “clean the brushes. That’s all I ask.” I’m on to that trick, by the way.<\/p>\n But it works. I think, “maybe I’ll just make some colored papers to use some other time. Maybe I’ll just mess around.” And then you suck me in.<\/p>\n I love you for that.<\/p>\n Forever,<\/p>\n Me<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My Dearest, I look now, over at your table, that beautiful old oak table, with the carved legs, and I know you are being so tolerant, your space covered with scraps, crumbs, and frustrated piles of broken frames and dusty matt boards. I know you understand. You always come last. I don’t know why you put up with it. Because […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysticalexpressivearts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysticalexpressivearts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysticalexpressivearts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysticalexpressivearts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysticalexpressivearts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=368"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mysticalexpressivearts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysticalexpressivearts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=368"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysticalexpressivearts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=368"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysticalexpressivearts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=368"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"\/](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/static1.squarespace.com\/static\/5181e760e4b04f94760cb317\/51832db8e4b0046126d0409f\/5294fe55e4b041b3d0f448f8\/1385496162523\/Scan%2B11.jpeg?w=900\")
<\/p>\n