My last post about working with Crone energy I created a painting during a satisfying expressive painting session. I posted a painting in a Facebook group and it got a lot of attention and positive comments. Which is great! But I am not used to that. I am used pulled-aside whispered praise.
That first painting was an assignment for a course I am taking, and there is a second part to the assignment – to paint expressively again but this time with color.
I was trying to be in the moment of expression, and the feeling I had when painting the first one was not present for me during the second session. I made a nice thing. I knew I shouldn’t try to repeat it. I was self conscious. But I reminded myself that I can paint and show no one. Everyone will forget. I am not on stage, no one is waiting.
I did want to reuse the same reference image. But how I was I feeling? I was feeling weird, wired, alive, reveling in my solitude and freedom. My body is the same but it is not a barrier. Rather is it a sacred costume. I was not feeling at all lonely, I was loving being alone to be my full self. So I painted from that place instead and the painting flowed.